A while ago a friend lost her mom. And when she returned to work, she told me something that hasn’t left me. Give your kids something to read after you’ve gone that gives them a reminder of your love. I decided, after thinking about it that I would write them a note on the blog about them on/around their birthday every year. Hopefully, it doesn’t become embarrassing, or overly sentimental/gushy, but just a little something about their wondrous personalities. Here’s the first in that series; as always starting with the oldest.
On Wednesday, Kiddok will be that magic milestone of 18. She can vote, go to war, get a tattoo, work crazy unlimited hours, buy a lottery ticket, serve on a jury, and more. Some of these, she’s looking forward to, like voting, some not so much (working crazy unlimited hours).
In the last few years, watching you find your sweet spot of what you want to do and where you want to spend your time has been fun. Watching you shift from sports to drama has been great, although finding out you like opera was a bit funky. (And yes, forever grateful to your aunt for taking you!) In watching you choose to learn about the rest of the world and feel compassion for those in tougher places than you, inspirational. Listening to your music choices while you clean the kitchen is entertaining and enlightening. Listening to you expound on equal rights regardless of gender, orientation, religion, etc is cool. Watching you try to navigate the relationships with your sisters, amusing (betting that being 10 years older than the next is nothing short of frustrating at times). Although to give you credit, you’ve done a remarkable job bonding with your sisters, watching them at their events, reading to them, playing with them.
I know that you are looking so very forward to going to college next fall, and starting a life that you planned (the first 18 years not being necessarily your plan). I’m excited for you, too. Not so much that you won’t be around, not excited about that (and not just because you can babysit!). I am excited to see your story told as you want to tell it now.
All those things that add up to making you unique are great, and I wouldn’t change any of them. (Well maybe opera, but that’s another debate). You may find that your tastes change again, and that you still love sports (maybe after Mauer gets traded and the NFL gets it right). You may find that popular music isn’t soo bad (don’t worry, I don’t think you’ll ever become a country music listener). If you find your preferences changing, it’s all good. You’re still you at your core. Find your niche in life, but allowing it to change as you do will keep you happy. No one else is going to be as good as defining you as you are.
All that said, Kiddok – here’s what I hope you take away from this. I believe in you. I believe you are a strong, smart, capable, resilient, loving young woman. While we don’t see eye-to-eye in everything, I believe in you. I love you, and I’m blessed to know you.